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Marry You: Reception Styles

2/17/2015

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But what is your vision for your wedding reception? Are there elements of other weddings you've attended that you'd like to incorporate?

As you are brainstorming, let's work on these specific questions:

1. How many guests will likely attend?

2. Will you invite families to bring their children?

3. What time of day, time of week, and time of year is the event?

4. Will your guests dance or prefer to talk with one another?

As a wedding DJ and musician I have seen a variety of reception styles. My events range from the subtle family dinner, to giant outdoor picnics, concert style showcases, and raging dance parties. But here's a mantra to remember, one that you should consider for your own peace of mind and for success at your event:

You can't do it all.
You shouldn't do it all

Here in the Lakes Region of NH and beyond at some of my frequent destinations (my favorites being Burlington VT and on the seacoast of ME) we're fortunate to have a plethora of wedding venues, great options for regional cuisine, and dynamic colorful seasons.

Back to the questions.

1. How many guests will likely attend?

You're working on a range here. (Your final number is submitted to you chef as per their schedule). But for now you're trying to figure out are you aiming for 15-35, 35-75, 75-125 or 125+.

This range should have bearing on your choice of format for the event. An intimate family dinner works great with a smaller group, and a dance party works great with a larger group. If you have a particularly large group, consider a live band to add that element of entertainment and show. That same band would be overkill for a group of 50 people.

2. Will you invite families to bring their children?

Children can be a wonderful addition to the wedding ceremony as they contribute rose pedals, rings on pillows, and even short speeches. They remind us that we are from our parents and that they will keep the circle of life going. They can be just delightful little dancers too.

Have a plan, though!

3. What time of day, time of week, and time of year is your event?

Dinner time: Have a 4pm ceremony, 5pm cocktails and 6 or 6:30 dinner. Variation from that will challenge your guests typical food and (ahem) beverage schedules. This plan allows for 3 hours of visiting, dancing and dessert from 7 to 10pm. This also allows you one hour of optional over time, which can go until 11pm. *The only exception to this is New Years Eve, but make sure you plan to feed your guests before 9pm. It happens.


Lunch time: have a 11am ceremony, 12pm cocktails and 1pm lunch. Party can go until 5pm, though you're likely not to have a raging dance party at these hours.

Outdoor weddings are a consideration in the summer and into early fall.
Note: Late October can be freezing in New England. Don't be fooled with electric "outdoor heaters." They can't keep the space as warm as you'd like them to.

In general outdoor weddings require a good degree more infrastructure, expense, and general consideration to make the environs comfortable. Bathrooms, temperature, sun exposure, safe dance floors, and bugs are all concerns to address.

4. Will your guests dance or prefer to talk with one another?

If you are leaning towards having a dance party it's likely because you yourself like to dance, your friends are club-goers, you're pretty sure that you can get your family out to boogie down, and you can't imagine a party without it. It's important that your venue is big enough, and the structure can handle the physical weight and legal requirements. You'll need a designated dance floor. Live bands are incredibly effective for keeping people entertained, and DJs can cover all styles.

If you are not leaning towards a dance party, but would prefer an extended dinner party, or extended cocktail style event, you've discovered a wonderful format for a wedding reception. The long form chill out reception is perfect for in-depth conversations, likely curbed alcohol consumption and a quieter more peaceful environment.
Music is laid-back, maybe even classical or jazz.

Talk to your wedding industry contacts and find out more tips from their many years of experience. Ask your friends and family who have gotten married. A good dose of stories will give you some things to think about.


On with the party!







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    Jonathan Lorentz believes strongly in the collaborative and interactive human element of music making

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